The baby cries, squirms and is difficult to calm down. The parents are overtired, feel overwhelmed and worry about their child. Their nerves are frayed.

Does this sound familiar? Perhaps your baby is going through a similar phase and you are now looking for advice and support. I have been a midwife for twelve years with a lot of experience in postnatal care and I experience such situations again and again. Believe me, you are not alone.

A child who cannot be calmed down causes stress. That is completely normal. Getting informed can help you to deal with the situation better. You will see: There are many things you can do to make your baby feel better. I would also like to give you some practical tips to help you get through this stressful time.

Symptoms

When a child cries, desperate parents often receive a lot of well-meaning advice. It is often assumed that the child is hungry or has a stomach ache. But it is important to remember that crying can have many different reasons. Stomach ache is not always the cause.

If the third visitor in a day comes to admire the new baby, it may be crying because it has to process so many new impressions and unfamiliar voices. In such a case, it will not help much if everyone takes turns carrying the child around and singing to it. On the other hand, if the baby is full and lying alone and awake in its crib, it may be crying because it is bored and wants to be entertained. Sweating, freezing or tiredness are other reasons why small children cry.

This example clearly shows the different needs babies can express through crying. Especially at the beginning, it is often not easy to interpret these needs correctly. This must be learned gradually. Then it becomes easier to react appropriately and calm the child more quickly. Children also cry a lot when they have a stomach ache or flatulence. There is often a certain time of day when the problems occur more frequently. Look out for these signs to recognize whether your child is suffering from a stomach ache:

• The baby cries a lot and often at the same time, usually in the evening.
• The stomach is hard and bloated.
• The baby pulls its legs up and then stretches them out abruptly.
• It is visibly in pain, has a red head and perhaps beads of sweat on its forehead.
• Some children do not blush, but rather become pale in the face.
• The baby tenses the stomach, but there is no bowel movement and no air
• Wind passes and brings obvious relief, but soon the baby begins to cry again.

Where does the flatulence come from?

Around 25-50% of all babies under six months suffer from flatulence and stomach pain. This typically begins in the 2nd to 6th week of life and usually ends around the 4th month of life. This is where the term three-month colic comes from. Incidentally, breastfed and non-breastfed children, boys and girls, are statistically equally affected. In most cases, it is not possible to determine exactly what is causing the flatulence. The most common causes are:

Immature digestive tract

In newborns, the stomach and intestines are still immature. They only start working after birth, because during pregnancy the baby's food was supplied via the umbilical cord. In the first few weeks of life, important adaptation processes take place, enzymes are formed and the bacteria needed for digestion settle in the intestines. A major change takes place in the baby's digestive system and gases are formed. Frequent farting is therefore completely normal for babies. If the air cannot escape, it collects in the stomach and causes pain. This is called flatulence.

Swallowing air while drinking

Some children drink very quickly and often choke. They also swallow a lot of air. If the breastfeeding position is unfavorable or the teat on the bottle is unsuitable, there is a risk that children will swallow a lot of air when drinking, which then collects in the stomach and causes problems.

Swallowing air while screaming

In fact, cause and effect are not always clearly distinguishable when it comes to flatulence. Sometimes babies cry because they have flatulence, but sometimes the flatulence is caused by crying. Even when the baby is crying continuously, it swallows a lot of air. This can easily lead to a vicious circle: pain - crying - stress for parents and child - more crying - more pain - etc.

Important:

Foods in the mother's diet such as onions, cabbage or pulses are often blamed for the flatulence. Unfortunately, this is a very persistent rumor. In reality, however, this is very rarely the case! So you definitely don't have to go on a diet and suddenly give up everything if your baby has flatulence. On the contrary: a good, rich diet while breastfeeding is important. As a rule, all foods that were well tolerated during pregnancy are also unproblematic while breastfeeding.

If you really have reason to suspect that your child is intolerant to something, you can check this very easily. Simply avoid the food in question for a week and observe your baby. If it is noticeably calmer, it could actually be an intolerance. If not, the food was not the cause and you can eat it again immediately. If you are unsure, discuss these things with your midwife.

Preventive measures – drinking behavior and burping

Remember where the gas comes from: children often swallow air when drinking. That's why you should try to prevent this from the start. Burping can help excess air and milk to escape. To do this, hold your baby on your shoulder and gently pat the lower back. Do this more often - definitely after every meal, but also during breaks or when you change breasts during breastfeeding. However, a sleeping child should not be woken up to be burped; it is better to lay it down. Then turn its head slightly to the side so that it can spit out excess milk.

There are also a few things you should keep in mind when eating:

For breastfed children

Always make sure you are in a good breastfeeding position. You and your baby should lie or sit belly to belly and the child should take the entire nipple and a large part of the areola into its mouth. With children who are very restless when drinking, latching on correctly can be a challenge. But it is always better to try latching on again than to maintain an unfavorable breastfeeding position. If all of this is not working so well, get support from your midwife or a breastfeeding consultant.

The interval between feedings can also play a role. If a baby has had a good meal, it should be full for at least two hours. However, some children become restless again soon after a feeding and are often fed again straight away. Most children calm down when they suckle, but that does not necessarily mean that they were really hungry. The mixture of half-digested and fresh milk often causes problems for the stomach and can lead to abdominal pain. Therefore, try to leave at least a two-hour break between feedings if your child is prone to gas.

For children receiving replacement food

Feed your child a food that is appropriate for his or her age. In the first few months of life, this is pre-milk. This is the most similar in composition to natural breast milk. Sometimes it can be worth changing brands, as not all children tolerate every food equally well.

When preparing the food, it is very important that you follow the instructions exactly. After that, it is best to let the bottle stand for a moment. When stirring or shaking, small air bubbles often form, which are then drunk. It is enough to wait a few minutes for the air bubbles to burst. Hold your baby upright when feeding, this helps with digestion.

Make sure you use the right teat size, as a teat hole that is too big can also cause the baby to swallow a lot of air when drinking. If in doubt, seek advice.

Tips and home remedies

Prone position and airplane hold

 Gently pressing on the baby's stomach can help the air to escape. So put your child on its stomach from time to time when you are there. In the so-called "airplane hold", the child lies on its stomach on the forearm of an adult, with the leg held in the hand. This position is very comfortable for many children and closeness and skin contact are comforting. Gently rocking or bouncing on a Pezzi ball can also help to calm the child.

Digestive tea

If you are breastfeeding, you can drink two to three cups of digestive tea a day, for example fennel tea or a classic mixture of fennel, caraway and anise. This can also have a calming effect on the baby's belly. Many breastfeeding teas already contain these herbs. Children who are older than six months and are already receiving solid food can also be given a little weak fennel tea with their meal.

Caraway suppositories

Caraway suppositories are homeopathic medicines that have an antispasmodic effect and help with bowel movements. You can get them from the pharmacy. Some midwives also carry the suppositories in their bags as standard when visiting postpartum patients. They help some children well. When buying, make sure that you are taking suppositories for children, not for adults.

Leg exercises and massages

When changing diapers or after bathing, you can promote your child's digestion and prevent flatulence by moving the legs. Take the baby's legs in your hand and stretch and bend them alternately or move them in a circular clockwise direction.

It is best to use oil for a belly massage. There are also special massage oils with caraway seeds available in pharmacies. Circle the baby's belly button in a clockwise direction, applying gentle pressure. If your child likes it, you can do this once or twice a day. A daily baby massage is also very beneficial and relaxing.

Exercise and massages are good for aiding digestion, but only if your baby is not in acute pain. If the stomach is hard and bloated, massages are rather uncomfortable. In this case, warmth, physical contact and lots and lots of comforting can help.

I would also like to particularly highlight the warm cuddly toys. Stuffed animal on the outside and filled with soft, cuddly rapeseed on the inside, they are a warming cushion and comforting friend in one. The beautifully designed and fluffy soft bears, rabbits and sheep invite you to touch and love them. When your tummy is feeling heavy, they can be warmed up and placed in mom's arms.  Warm cuddly toys is available in three different sizes. The smallest size is best for babies.

Comfort, comfort, comfort

If the stomach ache is acute, it is important to ensure that the child is calm and relaxed. This is easier said than done. Who can stay calm when their child is crying inconsolably? Most parents tend to do everything they can to stop the crying. However, this often leads to great unrest and the parents' stress is passed on to the child. More crying and stomach ache are then inevitable.

Therefore, shield your baby from too much hustle and bustle and try to remain as calm as possible yourself. Less is more: Instead of frequently switching between different calming strategies, find one or two that work for you and your child and stick with them. It often takes a while for a child to calm down again and there is not much you can do other than comfort them. Keep your baby company and let them know that you are there. The best thing is usually physical contact and lots of carrying, for example in the airplane hold as mentioned above or in a sling.

Find support

But it is just as important that you are not alone in the situation. Talk to other parents, speak to your midwife and ask friends or relatives for help. A little help around the house can bring a lot of relief. Maybe someone can go shopping for the family now and then, cook for you or even look after your baby for an hour while you look after yourself or catch up on some sleep. These are small things with a big impact. You will be less stressed, can enjoy the good times more and can cope better with the difficult ones. Friends and family are usually happy to help out, but you can also hire a household helper temporarily.

Above all, always remember: This is a phase that will pass. Stomach pain usually ends as suddenly as it began.

Until then, I wish you strong nerves and lots of success. You can do it!

Eva-Maria Kneis, midwife